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Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Evolution

My daughter is studying Archeology at University and had to give a presentation debating whether our development was due to Darwinistic model of evolution. She is way beyond me in understanding how this this works or most other things by now but it is an interesting notion to throw around. My understanding of the Darwin idea is that things change is the need for adaptation in order to survive. Well that's my simple notion of it anyway. If that's true then all that we are today is the result of the need to adapt.
This is some archaeologists primary interpretative tool - I am told.
I have a problem with that in some ways because while I can accept that paintings like the Lascaux ones above may have been re-enactments to empower hunters I find it a struggle to fit Monet's Lily Pond paintings, a Mozart Symphony or a poem by Walt Whitman as merely a desperate struggle to adapt in order to survive. Change, experimentation yes - survival of the fittest no.
Its just too mechanical for me. It denies that people, whenever, made, created, invented, thought, dreamed or created because they just wanted to and because it excited them and gave aesthetic pleasure for its own sake..
As usual I am probably missing the point and archaeologists would send for warm milk and a blanket for the poor old sod. I just get hacked off sometimes with Science thinking that everything has to be objectively quantified and explained without expression from the soul.
Nobody will ever convince me that the person who painted those wonderful vibrant animals on that cave wall was merely creating a utility wallpaper hunting manual.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Mornington Crescent

Having listened to ISIHAC for decades now and mentioning same at the Company Relaxation and Gossip Suite ( Water Cooler) today I was asked about this most British of games that was a regular feature of the show. As most people know it is based around the London Underground layout and its decorative and charming station names. Played at a starter level most people with even a moderate I.Q. soon grasp the basic rules and quickly pick up the basic game which I must say honestly is best learned by watching some more experienced players rather than trying to grapple with the complexities of the rule book. After a while more subtle strategies can be introduced such as a Baker Street impasse or the ever popular if sometimes cruel Finchley Road Fortitude. These are not to difficult to employ but can entangle the novice onto seemingly endless circles. It is for the Intermediate players with some years experience - 26 in my case - that the nuances and subtleties become a complex of 'side moves' and 'undercut reveals' (known as 'coddles') . Now the game is played for serious and while banter and humour are heard it often serves to disguise and conceal real intent that may be given away with an accidental twitch or lip movement. Many a game has been closed due to an waywardly ascending eyebrow. Being able to finesse with a 'marble arch' and send a hapless opponent far away on another circle is every players goal. A usual game can last for hours and the record I believe was for a game lasting over 2 1/2 days uninterrupted. For the player who has employed maybe four or five 'coddles' and battled against masterful opponents to be finally able to close the game with final triumphant "Mornington Crescent!" is a moment to be relished. Of course the beauty of MC is that it can be played anywhere and requires only a copy of the London Underground. These can be purchased from HM Stationers or reputable bookshop and travel versions on silk are available from the MC website. If you are tired of the usual drivelling T.v. soaps , banal game shows and the like revitalise your life, make new friends and find a reason to want to get up in the morning - discover Mornington Crescent. You will never be the same again. But be careful - it can become a compulsive and a jealous mistress !

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Have I got news for you?


Humphrey Lyttelton

1921-2008















So you're dead Humph.

I saw you underneath

Amy Whitehouse overnight in jail.

No juicy knighthood dinner.

You had the antidote for that

Swanee Whistle panel game of

even though you had Eton.

But no tears eh - they bunged you a

Lifetime Achievement Award at the Post Office British Jazz Awards

for swinging your ass off.

Getting to Mornington Crescent

was not the point was it -

it was the how.

That's what you gave our clueless time

the news about.

So, thanks Humph.

Friday, April 04, 2008



FRIDAY
How to cope with Friday.
Friday is not like other days - not just because its a different day of the week but because it has different implications for work.
Monday is fairly quiet because everyone wishes they were still buried under the duvet swamp and trying to avoid the agony of dragging to work for a whole week ahead. Not that I have trouble waking up on Monday. I am awake sharp at 6.45 ready to go. But then I was also awake at 5.45 and 4.45 also ready to go. I feel for people who can't wake up in the morning. Whe a horizontal teenager I was given an industrial strength alarm clock which went off like a tornado and I spent the rest of the day cringing if somebody whispered too loudly.
Setting you radio alarm to very loud is not a good idea either because you spend the day jumping when somebody talks to you. From experience, any problems getting up in the morning are simply cured simply by an infant/toddler/child.
Getting up also means you get to the shower first when the towels are not soggy lumps. eating without screams and watching Breakfast TV which is full of necessary and interesting information about house prices, how to hang out washing and the latest global famine.
But as said Friday is different. The downside is that you may have to face doing the nasty bits of work you have been putting off all week or face the horror of them still being there Monday when you creep in. Also, people or things you have managed to avoid all week zero in like missiles and make sure your diary is cram full well before next week. It is also the best time to go into the garden when its quiet, the birds are singing and you can hear the neighbours fighting.

My advice for Friday is to try and slide all unpleasant and unwanted tasks in the bin or next door. Also, tell the receptionist/person who takes calls you are very busy and to take messages - lose all such messages on Monday morning and deny all knowledge later.
The upside to Friday is that in the evening you can live it up a bit. I always have big plans for Friday evening. Mostly though by 9.00 pm I am reaching for the Drinking Chocolate and headed for the duvet zone, a book and the Shipping Forecast. Wild times or what!
But then of course there's Saturday - now that's different.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Death by cow


Apparently there are 10 or so cow related deaths every year in the U.K.
Hard to believe for sure that these gormless looking creatures could do such.
I quite like cows unless they come too close and they come up to stare at me with those misty glued up eyes and lips dribbling with mucus the consistency of batter.
As long as there is a stout fence between them and me and they haven't acquired vertical takeoff capability I'm happy to chat. Mind you when the tail goes up like a pump handle I get the message.
They also have poor taste in ear rings.